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little girl lost

with
that faraway look, thinking
of a story book fable starring that dragon slayer
who lifted your heart by five finger discount; instead
i think what goes on in books should be present tense, as stories go on so "lifts" instead of "lifted"
to be leaping across lily pads strapped to
i like this image but the syntax ("instead to be leaping") is confusing me - leaping instead of what? thinking of the story?
an amphibian back

like
a slab of beef expiring, your eyes
betray all as if dousing sparks; unlocking
i found myself wanting a clue as to what was betrayed - this seemed rather abstract or vague
secrets buried inside the Artic where volcanic lava
once flowed before frost settled, forming
china white porcelain blanketed
in calibration
i'm trying to grasp this image "blanketed in calibration" calibration means "the act of checking or adjusting (by comparison with a standard) the accuracy of a measuring instrument" so i'm not what sure what you mean.

the words and images in this poem are fresh and interesting. i think a bit of fine tuning will bring the poem more into focus.

something like this to start? (but i may be changing what you meant so take it with a grain of salt)

with
that faraway look, you dream
of the fable starring a dragon slayer
who lifts your heart by five finger discount, only
to find you are leaping across lily pads strapped to
an amphibian back


pj