lemon with honey

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paura nella	lemon with honey	Lead	[-]
Posts: 1639 (03/29/06 17:53:05) Artistic Hack/Mod Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : None is the granola of taste buds; wrapping sweetness into a cocoon while acrimony emerges from slumber -a bitter sting throughout tributary blood; injecting larva fertilizing sensations like a mothers bliss in mourning-sickness as she savors bitterness sip to siptaste via touchin natures embrace of cruel passion
Ferroggiaro	Re: lemon with honey	#1	[-]
Posts: 14812 (03/31/06 09:08:16) Italian Brat/Admin Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	is the granola [Not sure this opening line works - perhaps another word for 'granola'?] of taste buds; wrapping sweetness into a cocoon while acrimony emerges from slumber [sewn perfectly here - wow!] -a bitter sting throughout tributary blood; injecting larva fertilizing sensations like a mothers bliss in mourning-sickness as she savors bitterness sip to siptaste via touchin natures embrace of cruel passion [ 'cruel passion' is too fluffy for this piece - I'd end with 'nature's embrace] Other than that - is a tight piece, Paura. This smaller poem enhances the powerful contents, well done!
quixotik1	Re: lemon with honey	#2	[-]
Posts: 1394 (04/01/06 05:11:34) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	so many times I don't get your poetry, or it chaps me so bad, i don't want to- which is passion, i suppose. i don't get this one-YET surely another poem of intensity approaching... the title of course pure, sticky, temptation had to open it QUIXOTIK
bluezoe	Re: lemon with honey	#3	[-]
Posts: 3319 (04/01/06 12:40:43) Killing poetry since 1994/Chief Mod Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	i am not sure about the idea of the granola, P. but every other line is strong in wording. This is an adept image of the bitterness ermerging from what once seemed so perfect. i love your shorter poems so much. Your great with the quick slash and grab.
S Michael Simms	Re: lemon with honey	#4	[-]
Posts: 3047 (04/05/06 14:28:22) Boogeyman/Chief Mod Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	paura, I thought this was very mature and effective on several levels. my only problem was with 'mourning-sickness'. was that a typo? 'morning-sickness' I could understand; it's the nasty, painful part of a beautiful occurence in life, but add that 'u' and I'm lost...what is being mourned? anyway, great piece, Senor Amador. Be seeyin' ya. - Smikes
PlumColouredCarpet	Re: lemon with honey	#5	[-]
Posts: 129 (04/05/06 15:44:37) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	your starting off a poem with muesli??!! Man, if fried eggs and a rasher or 2 could kill, I'd assasinate your pen.
michaelchellew	Re: lemon with honey	#6	[-]
Posts: 113 (04/05/06 20:41:25) Registered Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Paura, is the granola of taste buds; This is great use of metaphor-granola cereal offers varied tastes being assigned to taste bud groups. in natures embrace of cruel passion. This so well concluded the intent of your write, IMHO. Great scribe, Paura Michael Chellew
PlumColouredCarpet	Re: lemon with honey	#7	[-]
Posts: 129 (04/06/06 04:17:12) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Paura, I was a little juiced last night and my comment was a little over the top. The old melon was throbbing like a 70's jukebox earlier and it's just I think muesli looks like crunchy vomit.
paura nella	Re: lemon with honey	#8	[-]
Posts: 1639 (04/06/06 06:43:45) Artistic Hack/Mod Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Thanks everyone. In all honesty, I'm not as happy with this as when I fgirst wrote it. I feel it could use a good waxing, but don't quite catch the vibe for it yet. Us e of the word granola I want to keep, as it is a natural health food that contains an interesting variety of flavors appealing to some, and to others not.

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lemon with honey

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